you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
