i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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