I wanna passion pit in your ass
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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