So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
