Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
