Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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