Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
