Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Semen is not good for contacts.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
being pregnant is like rehab
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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