the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You were trust falling into bushes
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
