I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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