I should be sponsored by Trojan
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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