DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
