just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
