It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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