I'm laying in your front yard are you home
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
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