Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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