Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
