idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
