Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
