Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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