OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
