My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you didnt know i had herpes?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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