East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
