Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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