my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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