yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
