i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Dignity is for republicans.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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