you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
