If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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