I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize