She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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