While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
