I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
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