Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
