: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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