your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
