remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
