idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
