Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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