you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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