Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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