Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
