This girl is more easily done than said...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
