Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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