It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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