he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
