yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
