Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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