we made out on top of his cat.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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