Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
