hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
