We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
