Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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