Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
She announced her abortion via fbk
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Randomize
