So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
